Song of the day: Leave the Pieces by The Wreckers.
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So,officially horrible mood. I woke up this morning,knowing it was Saturday and I could just relax all day. I was feeling pretty good,up until an hour ago when I was in my room looking through old pictures and came across one of Brandon. Then I started to think about him,and now I feel rotten. I was supposed to go to Chelsea's [The Masked] tonight and he was gonna be there,and CHels and Emily were gonna talk to him then,but Chels had to cancel because she got lost at the University and oh my.
I think fat's playing a trick on me. Every window of oportunity that there's ever been , have been slammed shut and boarded up. It's as if God doesn't want me and Brandon together. It feels as though it's not meant to be,when I've been hoping,praying that it would be.
It's like I said to Emily. I think I'm jinxed. Everytime there's a fully open oportunity for her and Chels to talk to Brandon,it closes up. Everytime I start to get in a decent mood,memories come rushing back and I feel like crap. :/ I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost with this situation,you wouldn't even believe. And if God decides NOT to be an asshole and puts me and Brandon together,what do I do about Nick? I still care about him alot,and I don't want to just drop him on his ass like he did to me so many times before.
I guess I'm just meant to be miserable my whole life.
videogirl.
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1 comment:
"It feels as though it's not meant to be.."
:/ well Bing, it usually seems that way and the longer you can wait for it, you've waited a fucking long time, the better its likely gonna be, atleast by being able to wait so long must show that theres something good there.. thats my opinion. It may not SEEM like its meant to be, but maybe your simply meant to wait.
Also with the Nick thing.. i dont know BingLo. Things are just.. well they're goddamn confuzzling.. but thats how things usually end up, nothings ever easy, and when it isn't easy its usually emotional. Just.. well things gotta be figured out somehow, the heart may seek two roads but you gotta sort it out before you take one.. i dunno what to say.. other than good luck.
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